I studied a lot about Buddhism, in various traditions, and one of the resounding and inarguable themes addresses the big A, attachment. There is resounding agreement that attachment is at the base of craving and causes suffering. The indisputable agreement on this topic stems from the fact that personal exploration proves that attachment causes craving and suffering, and the idea is repeated throughout most Buddhist’s text.

Most of my personal explorations into a Buddhist teaching started with the desire to prove the teaching incorrect. It’s just my nature to swim upstream.  And the whole area of attachment was no different. But, I had to admit in a short period of time that, yes, at the bottom of all my cravings lie attachment, and that stinkin’ attachment was causing me to suffer.

My attachments have had much examination under the mental microscope over the years, and it’s no easy task to get beneath them and pop them free. But I realized a part of the mechanism that was feeding my attachments was the language I used regarding labels and titles.

Of course we need labels and titles for communication purposes, or we would never understand one another. The problem arises, unmindfully usually, when we get attached to labels and identify through them. For instance, even though I wanted my divorce, talking in terms of I and me instead of us and we took a bit of adjusting and breaking of habit. It seemed strange to only refer to myself, instead of us. Even more difficult was adjusting to a new job title, as I strongly identified through the previous one.

This got me thinking about Buddhist teachings regarding how we get attached to titles and come to identify through them. We create an illusory me, an I am a technical writer, or I am a wife. Yet, when I looked closely, I realized that was simply a mind fabrication, a slippery identity at best. And there was confusion, readjusting, and suffering beneath those titles.

I looked more deeply into the many labels I used in reference to myself, examined the desire beneath each, and little by little mindfully let them go. I realized the first I had to send packing was a title I had come to take pride in, cherished on many levels, and had created an illusory self around. That title was Buddhist!

Digging into this label I found myself burrowing down a deep rat hole. Being attached to such a title went against the teachings, yet dropping it seemed to betray myself in way. The teachings I had continually tried to disprove actually proved correct and understanding them was beneficial. I searched inward, examined the many layers of identity and attachment, and little by little realized that like everything else the title Buddhist is not only empty, but pointed at nothing, really nothing at all!

You could argue a Buddhist is one who follows Buddhism. For conversation’s sake, yes, that is true.  But what is Buddhism? It’s another label. On top of that label is much controversy, discussion, and even arguments over what real  Buddhism is. Buddhism is a label, and the definition of that label is whatever someone says it is, or whatever group decides it is. Oh, no, that’s not right you might argue! Buddhism is this . . .

Buddhism, like everything else is empty. Buddhism lacks an unchanging, eternal anything. Buddhism does not exist in of itself. It only exists as a label for some common teachings, teachings which are also empty, teachings that had come from the Buddha, who is also controversial and empty. If you read the history of Buddhism, you’ll discover the concepts existed long before Siddartha, person/character, was said to have been born. It was not until hundreds of years after the person/character’s death that these teachings were put to writing. Buddhism itself is quite fuzzy in terms of what is truth, or correct.

My head filled with spaghetti thoughts as I tried to sort it out. I let it all go, and then the clarity came . . .  to label myself a Buddhist would be limiting, it would encourage an illusory identity, and one I could not defend as it needs not be defended, as there is nothing to defend.

Now, I say, “I practice Secular Buddhism, but I do not call myself a Buddhist.” Interestingly, I have a come across many others doing they same, as they also saw Buddhist as a label, a limiting title, and an empty one at that.

Yet, even as the label Secular is empty, many of us to identify with its lack of ritual and religious beliefs. We practice Secular Buddhism as much for what it’s not as we do for what is it developing into. Secular Buddhism does have a definition for communication purposes. And it’s interesting to me as I get into discussions about defining Secular Buddhism, I find myself confronted by a lot of attachment to traditional Buddhism (many different traditions), this thing people have created in their minds and have come to identify themselves with. The discussions often seem quite unBuddhist to me.

Atheists  don’t have as much problem defining the word for people as Secular Buddhists do, but even that label sparks controversy. Atheism is simply non-theist, yet Atheists now carry the connotation of being certain there is no God, or claiming there aren’t any gods. And while I know also that Atheist is empty, under controversy, that is a label I still wear. Why? Well, honestly, I am still attached to it.

At 10 years old I declared myself an atheist to my Christian family, and I’ve spent so many years defending that position, I find it difficult to give up. Additionally, in these stressful times where fanatical religions  are asserting themselves, I feel myself pushing back with that very pointedly rebellious title.

So, when people ask about my religion, I say I am an Atheist who practices Secular Buddhism. It’s a mouthful, but it addresses how far I’ve come in unhitching some of my attachments to labels and Buddhism, while reminding me I still have more work to do in areas of attachment, title making, and finding my way  to being completely free  of me-making on all levels.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 20th, 2010 at 9:50 am and is filed under Atheism, Atheist, beliefs, Buddhism, Identity, religion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.