Living Through Labeling
As humans we apply labels to everything. It’s a nifty little language tool that helps us identify objects in our world, and to communicate about them with others. Obviously we need labels for communication sake.
But when people start living through labeling, of themselves and others, problems arise.
In Buddhism, yet another label, there is much fuss over labels, concepts, and ideas, and the fact that the label is not the thing and the thing is not the label. You may not think you are guilty of such confusion, but observe how real a label feels when someone blindly cuts you off while you’re driving to work, and you mumble or yell “Idiot!” In that instance, the label is the thing, and the thing is the label. In reality, they are separate.
Emotions can raise a label’s place from a simple identification word to the thing itself. This was Buddha’s main beef about labels, that we come to identify with people by the labels we attach to them. This is dangerous ground which you can observe in your own experiences.
You can get to know a person’s variety of traits well, but once you deem it fit to attach a label to them, such as cheater, jerk, or idiot, you narrow your impression of them in a big way. Labels attached to people prevent us from being open to what else might be there. Suddenly we assume we know enough to judge them this or that, and feel we know them well.
Recently, with religion seeping into our government and our schools more and more, I found myself amidst a swirl of labels. In my frustration of trying to explain why this religion mudged with school and government is not ok with me, I realized that the word Christian had become a negative label for me that I was applying to a large group of people.
I was thinking of the word Christian in relation to my fear of oppression, my disdain for god beliefs, my dislike of the Bibles, and my angst over the church’s history. For me, the label Christian was taking on a life of it’s own, and it was blocking me from the people as individuals and what they had to say. This area is an emotional hotbed for me that seems to launch me right into labeling.
Now, Christians don’t mind being called Christians. This is a label they apply to themselves. But we have to see how an agreed upon label can go bad when it starts to have different meanings, as it did with me, and when we think of the people in terms of what the label represents to us. Words and labels, unfortunately, start taking on different meanings and lose clarity.
I have at times called myself an Atheist because I do not believe in Gods or Godesses. It was a label that seemed applicable enough. If the shoe fits and all . . . Yet, in reading tweets, I saw that some people felt Atheists were some kind of group, a “religion” for people who don’t believe in God. In my eyes the term Atheist was terribly misunderstood.
As I stepped back and looked, I realized that I see not believing in God as the same as not believing in the tooth fairy, trolls, dragons, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny. Do I have to be labeled simply because of lack of my God beliefs? If I have to be labeled, I think non-believer would be more accurate, or as a coworker suggested Skeptic or Secularist. Or as a friend pointed out, Peter Pan called lacking such beliefs, “grown up!”
We can go in circles all day trying to figure out what labels apply accurately because no label is going to be a perfect fit. People are complex. People are dynamic. Though a label may fit in one instance, or in one area, it may not apply elsewhere. It’s important not to identify ourselves or others with labels. They are just too limiting.
So, is it worth it to apply the label idiot to a driver who cuts you off? Well, it definitely expresses your frustration, but if you watch the situation closely, you’ll also notice it amplifies frustration. Just for fun I tried calling such drivers sweetheart, or darling. When you yell, Get out of my way, Sweetie!, you loose the raw edge of anger as that word leaves your mouth. It’s really hard to say terms of endearment and be angry at the same time. And you’ll notice the feeling of amusement quickly replaces frustration.
When you are giving a friend directions on how to get to your house, you need to label landmarks, use street names, etc. But you don’t need to label the person in such a way that it blocks out any chance of new, unexpected information.
Even the label friend can get dicey when suddenly they behave in a non-friend manner. “But you’re my friend! You can’t talk to me like that!!!” Well, there is no recipe for friend, any more than the myriad of other labels we come up for people.
Labeling can be a necessity for identification, but don’t live through labeling. It just creates extra baggage and complications.
